An essay of Schizophrenia....

David S. Clark

Eng -120

February 6, 2012

                                                                     Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a brain disorder, with many different classifications, whereby people can

interpret reality in his/her own way. It can be a combination of hallucinations, delusions and disordered

thinking. It is a condition of mind that can be brought on commonly by drug abuse or in other cases, a

history of mental illness in the family and genetic factors can possibly contribute. This condition

interrupts the balance of thinking and emotion, or in other words, can turn someone's world upside

down. Schizophrenia makes it hard for the individual to tell the difference between what is real and

what is not, or what is seen and what is unseen. Schizophrenia has a fairly strict criteria for diagnosis.

The time of the onset as well as the duration, can usually last about six months unless treated sooner.

The symptoms are numerous, and can be very scary to the individual and their family. Schizophrenia

means “split mind”; however, it is not multiple personality disorder. Personality confusion is the proper

term for that one symptom. There is more to this state of mind than can possibly be comprehended,

and the statistics of new diagnosis are staggering. (Schizophrenia)

The cultural belief of this condition usually brings the diagnosis conclusion right to mental

illness. This is not always so, in other countries, such as Africa and South America they have even

interpreted schizophrenia as a spiritual sickness or a period of revelation and epiphany. Some have

even gone as far as to say demonic possession or oppression. Schizophrenia is not a reflection of a

persons character. It effects both men and women equally. It is believed that many homeless people are

schizophrenic as well. Homeless people can be the most neglected when it comes to treatment as most

people commonly have a bit of fear around the homeless.

The life of Annaliese Michel tells us a gripping story. Her story was mostly based on the idea of

demonic possession, although being in conflict with psychiatrists' that said she was epileptic, and quite

possibly schizophrenic. She was a German Catholic girl living at home the time this happened. Her

parents gave up on the treatments that the doctors provided, and moreover believed she was possessed.

Her behavior included acts like urinating and then licking it up, as well as barking like a dog under a

table for 2 days. Annaliese consented for the exorcisms to happen. In the recorded tapes it is said that

the voices that spoke were of Judas Iscariot, Cain, Hitler, and even satan himself. There is also

reference that she died after a visit with the blessed mother Mary. She chose to stay and fight as long

as she could, so that people would know that the battle in the spiritual realm is real, and that demons do

exist. She was 23 years old when she died. (Shelly) In America alone, more than 4 million people suffer from schizophrenia at

any given time, and between 100,000 to 200,000 new diagnosis each year. At least 50% of people in

psychiatric hospitals are schizophrenic to some capacity, the most common are between 17 – 35 years

old. The following is a comparison of the numbers of other diseases. Schizophrenia: Over

2.2 million people; Multiple Sclerosis:400,000 people; Insulin-dependent Diabetes: 350,000

people; Muscular Dystrophy: 35,000 people. Schizophrenia has a yearly estimated cost in the United

States alone around 63 billion dollars a year, making it the most expensive illness there is. After 10

years, of the people diagnosed with schizophrenia:25% Completely Recover, 25% Much Improved,

relatively independent, 25% Improved, but require extensive support network,15% hospitalized,

unimproved, 10% Dead (Mostly Suicide). The suicide rate is between 10-20,000 suicides each year.

(Conconcea and Ramos) (McMillan) When childhood schizophrenia occurs, it begins at an early stage in life. Symptoms are vague

and build up gradually over time. Because of this it is hard to tell what may be wrong. Often times this

is regarded as a developmental process. As time goes on, more signs begin to show, as friends

and family, along with school officials, begin to take notice. They may develop symptoms of psychosis,

hallucinations, delusions, and difficulty organizing thought patterns. (Mayo Clinic)

The symptoms of schizophrenia can begin with irritable or tense feelings. An individual can

have difficulty sleeping at night, and quite possibly, a fear of falling asleep. They have difficulty

concentrating and paying attention. Some have strongly held beliefs that are not based on reality or

hearing and seeing things that are not there (hallucinations). Sometimes thoughts can go from one

random idea to the next, being totally unrelated. In mild cases having unusual behavior and social

isolation is common. A severe case can have a “crash” if drugs are involved in a psychotic episode.

Paranoid schizophrenia is incredibly frightening. Onset can start with anxiety, and then progressing to

seeing or hearing things that may be unreal.they may have different interpretations of experiences, and

sometimes the idea that people are speaking from different realms. This happens in more “spiritual”

cases. Paranoia also includes feeling like someone is going to harm you, or someone you care about.

Sometimes, depending on the individual, feelings of anger or being argumentative also can be

symptoms. Some patients have fear of being in public places causing them to isolate. They can

often be afraid to go places on their own, there is no place of comfort in this state. (Compton and

Brousard).

The path to this condition can be early and found in genetic and neurodevelopmental

defects. Experts now believe in a biological, psychological, and social combination, with early onset

being in genetics, then into a vulnerability area of what is in the patients enviornment.

Neurocognitive impairments and social anxiety, alongside an individual taking a prescription for

anxiety, can easily lead to an addiction that they were not suspecting. This can lead to a place of social

stress and isolation that can bring in a wave of psychosis. Often times the thought of suicide is also

present.

The cause of schizophrenia is not precisely known. There is nothing in DNA that says if a

person will develop schizophrenia or not. If the condition is left untreated, the effects can be dangerous;

suicide and self-destructive behavior; abuse of alcohol or prescription drugs; poverty; homelessness;

family conflicts; health problems from anti-psychotic medications such as, weight gain and lethargy.

This can also cause financial problems. The question still remains is this a “biological disease”,

a “psychological disorder”, or a time of “higher enlightenment”. (Compton and Brousard)

There are many classifications of schizophrenia. The common subtypes are: Paranoid,

Catatonic, Disorganized, Undifferentiated, and Residual. The paranoid type usually has hallucinations

and delusions. Catatonic types with draw from social activities and may have meaningless gestures.

Disorganized have thought patterns that are inappropriate expressions of emotion. Undifferentiated

schizophrenics is the largest group that has many symptoms from more than one subtype. Residual

schizophrenics have less prominent positive symptoms, but other symptoms still exist.

Seeking to get an individual help with schizophrenia can be very difficult and frightening.

The process usually begins at the intake level beginning with an evaluation. Then there are some

explanations made to the family and patient as well. A treatment plan is put in place, along with

diagnosis. Batteries of tests may be done such as blood work, and usually some kind of scan either CT

or MRI is done to look for abnormalities. A mental health provider will assess mental status by

observing appearance and demeanor and asking about thoughts, moods, hallucinations, substance

abuse , and potential for violence or suicide. (Compton and Brousard)

The treatment almost always involves a form of anti-psychotic medication, such as Trilafon or

Resperdal. These drugs are known to help deal with symptoms of schizophrenia but often leave

the patient with a “flat feeling” kind of effect. There are many more medications available depending

on the condition or severity of the psychosis. When medication is prescribed, it must be monitored

closely and medical directives must be followed.Hospitalization at the onset of a psychotic episode is

also very scary, especially for the patient. If the condition was a drug related psychosis, a time of

detoxification is needed and can be very difficult. Paranoia is a long lasting effect after a psychosis happens. It usually takes anywhere from 2 to 3 months for paranoia to fade. A medication called

perphenazine which is an older medication that was around in the 70's, is one that can aid in the ease of

paranoia, quite possibly. The objective of these medications is to prevent another psychotic episode.

While in a hospital if that was needed, the doctors may start off with an elevated dosage, and then work

down to a lower dosage, depending on the re-evaluation of symptoms and the patients health. (Harvey)

“Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name. The righteous shall compass me 

about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me.” (Ps. 142:7) King David wrote these words, while

hiding from himself in a way. How people deal with schizophrenia is also through faith. Many different

types of faith are known, but it is known that people who are dealing with mental illness that have a

support of “prayer” often times recover well. This is an interesting finding considering what some

cultures believe this condition to be. Some have considered this to be a time of enlightenment

and not an illness at all. Consider this “If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you

have schizophrenia”. (WordPress) The ultimate “why?” to this condition is still a mystery. What is it,

and why are people being tormented by this condition that we call “schizophrenia”? There are many people in history who give us examples of hope and inspiration, for those of us

dealing with this state of mind. Winston Churchill calls his battle with depression his “Black Dog”. The

story of John Nash, the mathematician that won the Nobel Prize states the he “chooses which voices to

listen to”. Our 16th president Abraham Lincoln also struggled with depression. The artist Vincent Van

Gogh, and the church reformer Martin Luther, all had the ability to live with schizophrenia which is

inspiring. These people also show us that a diagnosis of schizophrenia is not the ultimate reflection of a

person's life. People can still be productive and achieve their goals and dreams as “normal” people do.

(WordPress)

Works Cited

Barclay, Shelly. “The Disturbing Exorcisms and Death of Annaliese Michel”

Historicmysteries.com. 8 April.2011.web.10 Feb. 2012.

Coconcea, Christine, MD. And David Ramos “Schizophrenia.” emedicinehealth.com

N.P., n.d. Web. 4 Feb. 2012.

Compton, Michael and Beth Brousard. “The First Episode of Psychosis.”

London: Oxford UP, 2009. Print.

“Famous People with Schizophrenia.” iholger.wordpress.com. 2011 16 Nov. 2011. web. 10 Feb. 2012.

McMillen, Matt. Mental Health News. Webmd.com.

19 Jan. 2012. web. 4 Feb. 2012.

“Schizophrenia News.” Schizophrenia.com. 2006

web. 4 Feb. 2012.

“Schizophrenia Facts.” Schizophrenia.com. 2007

web. 4 Feb. 2012.

Simon, Harvey, MD. “Drugs and Side Effects.” umm.edu.

22 Jan. 2009. web. 5 Feb. 2012.

“Childhood Schizophrenia.” mayoclinic.com.

Mayo Clinic Staff. 17 Dec. 2010. web. 10 Feb. 2012.

The Neighborhood Bully......

In my early years of growing up, they were anything but fun, mostly when it came to hangin out on the street. We have a few bullys in the neighborhood, that always made fun of my brother and I. I think my brother was more passive when it came to this, I don't ever recall him reacting, well at least to my knowledge. The would tease us, make fun of us on the bus and so on, you get the idea. After a while my mother I guess got kind of concerned, so what happens next? Enter the Dragon, you guessed it - karate school. So a couple times a week my brother and I went to karate classes, and I recall those times of karate being really fun as a kid. That school today still has a top notch kids program, and I still attend as an adult of course! As I got older I began to lets say, not take so much crap from these kids. So one day my aggression came out, he did nothing to provoke me except memories of what this one kid had done. It was winter, and I made a perfect hard snowball and threw it at him! Got him! square in the eye! I then ran back to my house and went inside. Eventually one of his buddy's came over and rang the bell. I answered, and the kid threw a snowball at my feet, he said "consider that a warning". Well that day came and went as it was. The next day, all was fine, I went school and took the bus home. Now the kids all knew our bus number, and that afternoon, they waited for me.
We got off the buss and started walking toward home. I remember seeing a kid run off behind a house, I thought that was odd. As soon as we got to a certain point a dozen or so of my favorite bully's friends came running out after me! My brother and I took off running toward home, they eventually caught up with us. They held my brother and I hostage, and my nemesis said to me "put down your bags and fight", I wanted nothing to do with this situation. Reminds me of a scene in the first karate kid movie! This confrontation didn't last long. Right then after a minute or 2 a car came up the street and they had to let us go, we only had one house to run past, and we got home safely. They never did get to kick the crap out of me, I guess they grew up a bit and decided to leave us alone, not sure. I remember a time being messed with on the bus, and some how my response was smashing this kids fingers. My brother still never retaliated. All honesty, I don't believe in fighting, but should I have to, I will defend myself with my empty hand.
We were made fun off a lot, and knowing that, I'm surprised we turned out as good as we did, but life isn't over yet, so we'll see.

Bullying...............

I am adding in here a short essay I did about an experience in 1st grade. It's bullying of a different kind.

David S. Clark

ENG-120

January 25, 2012

My Biggest Embarrassment

It was early fall, somewhere around the month of October, when the leaves have their

peak season of colors. I remember the day like no other. It was the kind of day that one

usually watches out for, as if something could-go-wrong kind of day. At that time it was the late

70’s ,and we wore uniforms to school. We dressed in dark blue pants, light blue shirt, and a

clip-on tie with the schools initials on it. Although I was eight years old then: it seems like

yesterday.

My mother, on her way to work, dropped both my brother and me off at the, “Uniformed

Private School Institution” (they will get no advertisement from me). The kids flocked into the

school yard by the hundreds. I had very few friends at that time, and this particular day’s events

made it so I had none, or at least it sure felt that way.

The bell rang, and all of us young ones up to eighth grade, lined up to head into class.

The morning went well to my recollection with the normal reading and writing exercises,

arithmetic and so on. Morning recess came, and at that school, it may as well have been like

prison yard time.

None-the-less it was a break from class. I was not all that energetic that day. I didn’t run around

outside or play ball with anyone, it was just a quiet day, or so I thought.

We headed back into the classroom and got back into more reading and spelling

exercises. Back then, I hated raising my hand in class for any reason whatsoever. I was just a

quiet kid at that time, but suddenly I had a big problem,………… I had to go to the bathroom.

I recall enjoying drinking at the water fountain; I thought it was the best thing, anything

to stall getting back to class.

Soon I have a dilemma, sitting there in my seat not knowing what to do,

or at least not knowing how to handle the situation. So I decided to just wait till lunch recess; this

was a bad move.

I tried to focus on what was being taught, but then, out of sheer will power, I raised my hand.

The teacher was just as surprised as I was to see my hand go up, but it had to be done. She said

“What is it David?” “May I go to the bathroom?” I replied. She responded with a disgusting look

and said “No, you should have gone during recess; you will have to wait till lunch time” I

already knew at that moment that the situation was not in my favor or best interest at all.

I did the typical thing of trying not to think about it for a few more minutes, but no such luck.

Once again with more boldness I raised my hand. Another strange look came from whom now

was an instrument of human torture. I spoke again and said, “May I please use the bathroom?”

then came another cold response but sounding more angry than the first time; “No, you have to

wait” she said.

I was no biology major to say what was going on inside, but this was really starting to

get painful. I could focus no longer on the schoolwork anymore; I merely focused on the pain;

prolonging the inevitable.

Then as I sat, the worst of my fears began to unfold, or release should I say?

It was over, while sitting at my desk. There was relief for my bladder! The volume was plentiful

considering all the water I had drunk before recess. As I sat there, I remember feeling as if the

world was about to come down on me for this act. It wouldn’t take long until the young

child in front of me heard the urine dripping on the floor. He turned around, looked at me, and I

was horrified. He spoke out loud, “Hey this kid’s peeing on the floor!” Everybody turned around

and laughed at me. Embarrassed and scared, I sat there.

More frustrated than ever, the teacher then shouted at me, “Go to the bathroom!” I

remember thinking to myself, ok, so now what? She pointed her finger straight at the door;

she was furious. I got up and went down the hall heading to the bathroom. On the way there I

saw the old janitor. He looked at me and said, “Had an accident, huh?” “Yes”, I replied. But only

this was no accident. This could have been prevented if a little compassion had come into play.

I went back to the classroom. By this time, the mess was all cleaned up, so I was able to

take my seat again. My last and final problem was urine soaked clothes. I sat in those

clothes enduring a fowl stench that could reach to high heaven. No phone call was made to my

parents or anything. I stayed like that for the rest of the day, and no one spoke to me at

all. Lunch recess came and all I got was a gathering of people laughing at me.

I remember those days in the “Uniformed Private School Institution”, and how hard they

were for both my brother and I. Now they are just memories. I remember all the names of the

teachers and the janitor as well. The most important lesson for me though is this; forgiveness.

I don’t harbor any bitterness at all. In the end, I believe some people just don’t know what they

are doing. I can extend grace and look back at this and laugh at myself, and how people

responded that day. Some would say I should be scared by that incident. I look at it as way

to show people one of the many ways I can practice forgiveness. I know that from her

perspective she was trying to teach discipline, I wonder how she feels about that now, I may

never know. Back then I felt embarrassed beyond my worst fears. Today I can say that I would

rather laugh at myself, and some of the things I did when I was young, this way the very intense

moments of the past don’t have any power over me.

Early Years......................

One thing that always stuck out to me was hearing my father say "that looks like a David to me". I was just born, an early memory that people say is impossible. After all I have seen in this world, nothing could be more impossible. Or even still do we actually believe in that word? Not me says the preacher man! I also remember them (doctors) sewing up my belly button, that hurt let me tell you! the first of 3 hernias in my lifetime. Thats it from that timespan. The next memory was being washed on my grandmothers kitchen table, I don't seem to recall enjoying that either. Is there something there that has effected intimacy for my future years? We'll get to that soon. My early years I refer to them as glimpses, after all, our minds are not fully developed for what I call "linear memory" until much later.  I actually like that term "linear memory" it will have its relevance when I get further in.

Kindergarten and preschool years were strange for me. As a child I was a bed wetter that just wouldn't quit! Initially that brought on a lot of unneeded surgeries' and installments of early childhood fear, that would later create this fear of surgery, ultimately my nemesis.

I recall the first concussion I ever had. I was leaning against what was like cement piping that kids used to crawl through. There were some kids on top of it, I didn't think much of it at the time. Then when I woke up and had seen everybody lined up to go inside, I realized I was hit with a rock on top of the head! Wet pants of course, that was normal for me at the time, even until 7th grade at best for bed wetting. The concussion was mild I would say, compared to the next one. I have one brother who I will mention lightly from time to time. I wont mention names or places so much, but rather facts and truths.

Facts are always different from the truth, because truth has what facts cant see. ( like that one?).

Abuse has always been a puzzling one for me, I have strange memories from time to time, that I have not been able to come clear on. Like babysitters running amuk in the house while mom and dad were out.
To some person telling me to kiss their private parts (male). I don't recall anything happening, none the less it was scary. One of the things that has led me to question sexuality on rare times. Im not gay, nor do I support such lifestyle, nor understand it for that matter. Maybe I do see how it happens to some people though. A place for a disclaimer, if you have an immature mindset, please stop reading. This is for those who want genuine help and insight. I don't have time for childish remarks.

There are real problems people face. If I am as honest as I can bluntly be, someone just might be set free from a hell that they are in. God willing.

Around 9 years old I decided I was going to be like Evil Kenevil, that old stunt guy. I tied a parachute on the back of my banana seat bicycle, went up top the hill. Went down as fast as I can, obviously not thinking of physics at the time, (air is needed for a parachute to work) and I was in front of the air. Went over the handle bars at full speed, waking up at 4 in the morning in a hospital. Face was torn up as bad as Freddy Krueger. Teeth smashed out, IV in the arm, and hungry for food! The nurse wasn't much help for that, as she said breakfast was not until 7 am. I was in second grade at the time of that accident. I have a scar on my hand and on my chin from that adventure. This event led to teeth problems in the distant future. On to the bullying!!!!!!  
    

A simple glimpse

Recently, my life went through a dramatic season of horrific events. Words could only barely put this into perspective for a reader. Hopefully there will be pictures, worth a thousand words or more, and hopefully there will be introspection, more into your own life than mine, as strange as it seems. Im writing this as if I were writing my own book. Im no english major so bear with me. However I do consider myself to be on the intelligent side, and have been able to hang with the best of them. About me, Im a musician of 30 plus years, several records produced, many songs written. A friend to many, a church goer, a believer. A talent that has always been welcomed wherever I am. In other words people love me, and I love people. I don't have this huge knowledge of music theory to challenge the masses, but have always had enough feeling in music that theory was never an issue, at least for me. I hold an associates degree from one of the top audio schools in the country, a course directors recipient, and a good colleague to my classmates. Some of whom I connect with to this day. Currently Im 40 years old at the time of this writing, at the tail end of a year that has shattered me, many around me, a place of brokenness of spiritual proportions. From nightmarish drug reactions, to misdiagnosis, to abandonment, and to what is left of a broken world that was my own. I sing a song of newness of life, a higher calling that I would not ever guess could happen. The clouds of pain have turned to anger against a system, that claims to help people, but in the end only keeps people sick, longer, and in torment. How long will we keep people sick, or say they are, before we come to the heart of the matter? What pain I have gone through to come to this place, a place of vision and direction. This is dedicated to my friend "Sandy" who was always there on any recording occasion, and times of just plain fun, I miss you dearly.  

Preface

Welcome. This is my place where I am going through my own life as best as I can, from every age and every event up to the present. I will say currently I am enrolled at The University (sorry no advertisement) as a psych/mental health major. As a result of all that's happened.