Early Years......................

One thing that always stuck out to me was hearing my father say "that looks like a David to me". I was just born, an early memory that people say is impossible. After all I have seen in this world, nothing could be more impossible. Or even still do we actually believe in that word? Not me says the preacher man! I also remember them (doctors) sewing up my belly button, that hurt let me tell you! the first of 3 hernias in my lifetime. Thats it from that timespan. The next memory was being washed on my grandmothers kitchen table, I don't seem to recall enjoying that either. Is there something there that has effected intimacy for my future years? We'll get to that soon. My early years I refer to them as glimpses, after all, our minds are not fully developed for what I call "linear memory" until much later.  I actually like that term "linear memory" it will have its relevance when I get further in.

Kindergarten and preschool years were strange for me. As a child I was a bed wetter that just wouldn't quit! Initially that brought on a lot of unneeded surgeries' and installments of early childhood fear, that would later create this fear of surgery, ultimately my nemesis.

I recall the first concussion I ever had. I was leaning against what was like cement piping that kids used to crawl through. There were some kids on top of it, I didn't think much of it at the time. Then when I woke up and had seen everybody lined up to go inside, I realized I was hit with a rock on top of the head! Wet pants of course, that was normal for me at the time, even until 7th grade at best for bed wetting. The concussion was mild I would say, compared to the next one. I have one brother who I will mention lightly from time to time. I wont mention names or places so much, but rather facts and truths.

Facts are always different from the truth, because truth has what facts cant see. ( like that one?).

Abuse has always been a puzzling one for me, I have strange memories from time to time, that I have not been able to come clear on. Like babysitters running amuk in the house while mom and dad were out.
To some person telling me to kiss their private parts (male). I don't recall anything happening, none the less it was scary. One of the things that has led me to question sexuality on rare times. Im not gay, nor do I support such lifestyle, nor understand it for that matter. Maybe I do see how it happens to some people though. A place for a disclaimer, if you have an immature mindset, please stop reading. This is for those who want genuine help and insight. I don't have time for childish remarks.

There are real problems people face. If I am as honest as I can bluntly be, someone just might be set free from a hell that they are in. God willing.

Around 9 years old I decided I was going to be like Evil Kenevil, that old stunt guy. I tied a parachute on the back of my banana seat bicycle, went up top the hill. Went down as fast as I can, obviously not thinking of physics at the time, (air is needed for a parachute to work) and I was in front of the air. Went over the handle bars at full speed, waking up at 4 in the morning in a hospital. Face was torn up as bad as Freddy Krueger. Teeth smashed out, IV in the arm, and hungry for food! The nurse wasn't much help for that, as she said breakfast was not until 7 am. I was in second grade at the time of that accident. I have a scar on my hand and on my chin from that adventure. This event led to teeth problems in the distant future. On to the bullying!!!!!!